Can't take the kid from the fight

OUT OF CHARACTER: I AM NOT RYAN ROSS, and if you are leaving comments to this journal and you are not apart of theatrical_muse than PLEASE STOP!

Any comments left on this journal that are not part of T_M will be deleted and not replied to.

I’ am standing on stage for the first time in my life, I have my guitar strap around my shoulder, and it the guitar itself is pressed against my stomach. Standing to the left of me is Brendon behind me sitting behind his drum set Spencer, and all the way to the far right is Brent.

We are beginning to play our first live show, it is the first time we have played for a live audience. I am nervous as I’ve ever been but somehow I feel that I am ready for this, I push aside my shyness and begin to play.

Brendon’s singing is loud and enthusiastic, he is happy as are the rest of us.

When I look back at it all, I never really thought we would be as far along as we are. One album down and another one coming along.

Concert after concert, performances and more show appearances. Sometimes fame and glory isn’t all it is cracked up to be, sometimes I can feel myself being drained out and it just gets more and more tiring.

But when it does die down, I always want it back.

Word Count: 190

I’d probably have to say I’d try to have a slightly better relationship with my father. Which is probably not something most people would want but I feel that me and him missed a lot of stuff due to him being drunk and be being slightly stubborn to do anything about it.

I know now that he’s dead I can’t rekindle what happened, but I can always think of ways to make it seem like it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I know it makes no sense and that I should just continue to forget about it, but he is my father. I did cry at his funeral, what else can I do about it.

I can’t say I miss him, I miss him at times but than I think about all the other stuff and than I don’t miss him as much anymore.

That’s really the only thing I’d change, I like the way my life is right now. I have great friends, a great life ahead of me and I’m willing to live each day to it’s fullest and live it that way until I die.

Word Count: 189

Brendon got a tattoo, at first I thought he was nuts but I let him do it anyway. I'm not a controlling boyfriend nope not one bit.... okay maybe a little but if he wants to print his body fuck might as well let him better that I know than him doing it behind my back.

By the way, the tattoo is of piano keys (just like him to get that kind of tattoo.)

You’re all thinking I’d say Brendon right? Well Brendon is my best friend but than again, so is Spencer and Jon. It’s hard to say who my best friend is, when I have more than one.

Spencer has been there the longest, Brendon has captured something no one else could, and Jon is still working his way up on the friend charts but still a pretty close friend to me. Than there is also Brent, who might not be with the band anymore, but at some point he was my best friend as well.

It’s hard to decide who my best friend is, when I have 3 of the greatest friends ever. Jon, Spencer, and Brendon. They help me more than they could ever imagine and you know, if I didn’t have those guys I don’t think I’d be able to really compared anything.

All of my friends have a special place with me some more than others though. Brendon for instance but that just cause he means more to me than anything.

Topic 173: Write a Fan Letter (187)

Okay so I was searching through some old files on my old laptop, and I came across something kind of embarrassing and really old. It was an old fan letter I wrote to Pete Wentz and Fall Out Boy awhile back, it was when me and the guys were first forming the band. WAY after Pet Salamander *laughs* but here is the letter.

( The Letter )

What is the biggest mistake you've made in a relationship? (180)

Over-reacting. I’ve over-reacted so much and it’s hurt my relationship with a certain someone. But I don’t know I’m doing it until it’s all going down to shit hole.

Just recently I got back with my love and I’m very happy after being away from him for 5 days it drove me crazy I couldn’t sleep, eat, or even function right cause really I was worried and the reason he left was cause of be.. Over-reacting after he even told me it wasn’t what I thought it was, and that the feelings he had weren’t there anymore and in fact he DID love me. But I doubted him because I felt hurt and I know I hurt him in the aftermath of me being over-dramatic and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Me and him have made tons of mistakes and for that our relationship faltered a lot but honestly I think all the mistakes we made be them big or small it actually strengthened our relationship.

I was also taught to learn from my mistakes anyway.